Was I a Mafia Mother?

(from my Linkedin Post “Compensation For?”)

Gunna just have to accept–to myself–I was a “Hollywood regular stand in” for others… and never adopted(paid) to do it there. Others just made sure I had survival money to get me through it all because of the hits I may have taken FOR OTHERS. I ended up being a hit magnet?!! But remember this too for me/us… I paid with my very messed up lifetime already. If anything, PEOPLE OWE ME MORE MONEY. Not the other way around. I’ve had to live a RUINED LIFE. I’m not suing nor invoicing, and “adults” should NOT be sending their small or full grown “children” for money or gifts.

It appears I was a MOTHER for mafia and gangster children. Responsibility got put on me for things THEY DID or SET UP or signed agreements on.

People can and will go on without me. And I need to be retired from helping strangers. Most people I ever dealt with in L.A. even Honolulu appeared to be strangers to me. I didn’t really know them.

I actually believe I’m part of a group of “poor Yugoslavians” that people were supposed to protect and take care of–even minimally, not rob and abuse!

What’s profound is that responsibilities appeared to be put upon me before I was even out of diapers. I’ve had this weight on me my whole life… to help people I didn’t even really know. The distant relative to false surrogates? I’m not sure who set this all up or how it got put together. I know human traffickers were involved. I believe they were Ukrainian-involved, which also connected me to India and Korean peoples and more.

Getting Rid of “Stupid” (From Our Lives)

Some humans have been given this label, PLEASE don’t push humans out the door unless they are actually dangerous to you and yours.

The real “stupid” we probably ALL NEED TO WORK ON… are the things in our lives that we keep getting involved with over and over and they are NOT HELPFUL, but HARMFUL… to our minds and/or our wallets and self worth.

“Stupid is, what stupid does!” –Yeah that too!

What I’m writing is to myself and others… I am trying to help us get stupid out of our lives. Yes, “stupid” is like a GLUE or a stinky tar we’ve used to get odd things to work together. But at some point you need to use something else, or re-work the “wiring” or “flow” or “how this thing is done”. Yup, sometimes we use “stupid” to make new things kinda.. roll… or jump… or bounce.. or just do something… but what I am suggesting to even myself is: “What can I use to replace ‘stupid’ in my life?” This is really tricky and not simple for me. Others may have less stupid-looking lives to deal with!

Here are some examples of “stupid” in someone’s life:

– Jogging daily even though you’ve had knee surgeries.
– Going to the same restaurant with the same people and running up a tab that breaks your bank account every time–they have fun, love you for it, but you spend months recovering the debt to your credit card.
– Working at a job that will never pay you enough to afford in the home you are in.
– Asking for help from someone disabled(physically or financially or?), and they keep putting you off and you can’t get your work done without them.
– Wearing clothes that don’t fit right and you get irritable because you hate the colors or fit.
– Eating your spouse’s cooking and it tastes bad all the time, and you are actually good at cooking!
– Spending money on relatives who never speak to you or help you with anything.
– Taking a certain route to work every day that includes too many traffic lights, but appears faster sometimes.
– You ask the opinion of NON-EXPERTS on a subject.
– You complain about the same thing for years instead of seeking even a small change.
– You just complain and never suggest a repair or fix or constructive change.
– You ask others for changes in your life, but you don’t or won’t change yourself at all.
– You seek only “compromise” from others, but won’t do a compromise when asked of you.

Make your own list! I dare you!

This is actually a very universal, global “thing” that EVERYONE may need to think about: REMOVING AS MUCH STUPID FROM THEIR LIVES AS POSSIBLE. We all end up getting into a groove, habits, even forcing things in relationships and more. I’m thinking now… WE ALL NEED TO PUT MORE EFFORT into removing “stupid” from our lives. And I don’t mean getting rid of human beings I mean “DEPROGRAMMING”, “ADJUSTING EXPECTATIONS”… “HELPING EACH OTHER FIGURE THINGS OUT”.

The Old Man and the Birds

(working title)
I’m writing this story live. If I don’t snoopers may try to sell it before I publish it. Stand by… (copied from Linkedin after I finished as is for now)

After working hard for years, an old man is retired and alone. He knows he is near his end, or he thinks so. Gives away his expensive things to friends and family and has his little money to live on and enjoy his final days in peace.

He has just enough to get by, but things are getting more expensive. He doesn’t want to burden people he cared about in life. Just wants to fade away.

After losing his small apartment home and walking out, leaving everything there he takes to the streets. He has a terminal illness and knows his life is closing down.

One day he notices the young birds visiting him. Older ones watching them and him. Laying on his cardboard he gets up and goes to a store and with his last cash buys bird seed. He sits at the park and gives and gives… it last for days and he makes lots of friends with the birds and he lives in that nice park for a while with them.

The day comes and he is out. He sits and watches some birds come to visit, give him looks, peck around and leave again. Some come and fight each other at his feet and next to him on the bench.

Sadly he gets up, and slowly walks away. Birds chase after him.. scurrying at his feet… landing on his shoulders… on his head… flying by… some talking… some yelling… he just keeps walking slowly… no where to really go. His breathing isn’t well…

…his head is getting foggy.. he is not sure if he is walking or not. He feels very tired… and slowly loses consciousness. The birds land on his body, now just fallen on the path. He hears them, it sounds like music and confusion… they peck at his hair, his face, his jacket, his shoes, and stand and fight on him. Doesn’t matter their color, or size, or origin. Just birds.

Are you a bird? Do beautiful feathers stop you from pecking at people? Are you all in gray? Do you feel, special?

Joggers… come up quick and birds fly off… some fly and fly and fly… others hop out of the way still watching and looking for bird seed, which.. some may have dropped.

What does this story mean to you? What human would you be in this story if you wrote yourself in? Are you proud of the birds? Would you want to be one?

What are the joggers thinking of as they see this dead old man on a path? Take his wallet? Chase the birds away? Run off and pretend they didn’t see him?

There are many meanings in this story. Some people feel old and out of bird seed, even not near their own natural death. They feel like they already gave up a lot already.

If the old man got up, and walked back to an expensive apartment with all kinds of marble and gold. Had he still spent “all his seeds” for “the birds”? What if he had only bought ONE BAG in life and spent it all. Are the birds still “owed”? Is he responsible if the birds called more to his neighborhood?

more later

The Fast and Furious FK UP

THIS IS A RANT FOR PUBLIC VIEWING. I know not all had dumb and sinister intentions, but some truly have! Their names may not even be on credits anywhere. Some may even be dead from a street fight at some point by now.

After I helped create the Fast and Furious movie franchise… in my childhood… WITH ADULTS… how many MEN, gangsters especially… suddenly rose up and WANTED TO “BE ME”? No kidding. HOW MANY? They REALLY FKD UP MY LIFE. OTHERS TOO. Because some ARE NOT LEGAL IN THE U.S., NEVER WERE. They got involved and messed up all kinds of normal people who USED TO work for Hollywood, and I don’t think this was appropriate. Some, maybe many… are not even creative or business people, had guns, not money. This is NOT what the movie series was about. It wasn’t about destroying lives. It was supposed to enforce family and friendship values. And hell yes, have good times. Criminal and not.

Offscreen… Even g’damn criminal politicians got involved or showed up at that series. So WTF happened???????

Being a Spirit Walker

“Leave nothing but footprints, take nothing but pictures, kill nothing but time…” (even then, must ‘time’ be killed or just ignored?)

This still is a mantra when I am around nature. I actually prefer the peace of nature than the metal and concrete of big cities. Okay? I am not “your Donna”. I am a spirit walker who will speak to people. That’s all I really was. Still am really. People have disrupted my thinking and spirituality and WALKING since my earliest days on Earth outside of the womb. I’m not sure if I’m supposed to be angry or just irritated… or wondering… why is this?

I found this image without a copyright online. Please contact me if it is yours.

It’s Like Having a Rabbi Friend…

A short allegory.

One day you get thrown in jail. Instead of reaching out for help or finding a good connection through others… you have that friend rabbi framed and thrown in prison with you. So there they are, in the cell next to you, locked in as you are. They stare at you… and stare… and you sit in your cell thinking.., then say: “Can you help me now?”

The rabbi responds, “What do you want me to do? I lost my job, my family divorced me, and society abandoned me because they think I killed someone.”

You the one in jail who needed the rabbi… looks around, sees rabbi.. now there to talk to almost 24/7… that’s a joyful thing..(now you are comrades!) then you look outside the jail cells where a guard paces by and you realize… “Oh yeah, would have been better if you were on that side of the bars and visiting, huh?”

[ Me: Yeah. ]

The worst part of this story is that this is likely happening EVERY DAY to someone. People kidnapped or forced to join a gang, or forced to live in a country they don’t want to be in. Forced to take a job they don’t want. Even non-criminals and criminals forced to get certain prisons and people. I’m sure it goes on and on.

Lesson of Three Birds

A bird takes another bird into a bird house then leaves that bird there, locks the door behind and flies off.

A long time later, a bird returns and looks into the cage from the outside, peeps “Why are you not full of food and fed? You look unhappy. I’ll be back and get you some food and water.” Bird leaves, comes back and gives some to the bird in the house. The uncertain bird hops to the cage edge and the food and water dropped in.

A third bird, big one… flies in, chases off the delivery bird and breaks open the cage, gobbles the food, knocks over the caged bird and flies off.

The truth illustrated here is… human beings can be as dumb as birds. Typically, the ones who are the most free and able to fly, must help the ones they’ve locked up. Shouldn’t be stealing from them. This lesson speaks of a lack of balance. Firstly, the bird in the cage could have had a door that was open so they could help themself. Then the average bird didn’t attend its own duties to help the bird in the cage. In the end, the big bird could have easily ignored it all because it can get much bigger food for itself, even given leftovers to the one in the cage. The big bird could have even opened the cage door and all three left the scene.


There is a commotion.

A small bird is grossly attacked, injured as it tries to flee. Wings broken, leg too. Head injury. A force puts it in a cardboard box. All the birds surrounding are peeping frantically as if they feel the injured bird needs help! Some food and water are left, and the force leaves. Before the injured bird can get enough energy and wake up enough from the black out to crawl across the box floor, the peeping attack birds jump into the box and steal the food and water.


The peeping birds leave the box, and the injured bird wakes up enough to eat some crumbs and suck on the water drops still left. Then it falls asleep.

Nearby the peeping birds entertain the force. And the force gives them a big bowl of food and water. The force looks into the card board box and sees the injured, near death bird appears to have eaten and drank. Left a mess! What a pig!

Any humans want me to keep going? You know this happens to human beings. Instead of a lesson told, what would you think about the small bird? Was it attacked because it was by itself and smaller than the other birds? Was it pretty, nice, carried a melody? What was the motivation of the attack? Did the peeping birds imitate its likeness prior to the attack, while it lay in a box dying?

Intellectual Property Rights, Trading, Bartering

THIS has been a big issue in my whole life!

Some think, and it is very possible… I was held by Hollywood for my ideas spanning decades because people simply could not afford to recognize me and pay me. Well, I got some good and bad experiences out of all that. I will reiterate, I am DONE with Hollywood. I’m old now and people attached to me needed to move on too, thankfully!

What comes to mind are some ideas on handling IP creators, creatives, users, admirers.

The main idea I wish to express is this: Can we find a way to allow a person to receive credit for at least on major IP in their life, should they have come up with it? I know a great fear is that, “It may be worth a lot of money!” But what if we all predefined a maximum value for the original creative? Never exceeding an amount.. no matter what the IP actually is. The person gets the notoriety(public announcement) and the fixed amount and that’s it! Call this “The Reward”. It could look like $10k and that’s it. And no more in life. After that every one after that has to be given to a talent pool (of people who have not yet gotten paid and fame) and someone who is a good fit, gets it. Does this sound communistic or is it a way to prevent a creative, agency, studio, corporation from being greedy?

Another idea is “IP trading”. This could take place between people who have already gotten “that one famed IP in life”, people who haven’t gotten the fame and money yet, or even one of each? Here are the brief scenarios for IP TRADING:

1. NEW PERSON has a great idea worth “the reward”, but doesn’t want to use this idea for their “one IP reward in life” so they give it to another person, and they use it for “The Reward”

2. NEW PERSON has a great idea worth “the reward” but makes a deal to TRADE the new IP(IP #1) with someone who has already gotten “the reward” for another IP(IP #2). What happens is that the previous IP that was rewarded is now owned by the New Person, and the already famed person gets the new IP and “The Reward”.. but what happens is BOTH are named publicly and noted who is now the owner of IP #1 and IP #2. The previous reward winner gives their reward money to the New Person. The result is New Person gets the money from IP #2, and the previous winner gets the new reward money for IP #1.

The General Rule of IP’s is that ONLY ONE PERSON or ENTITY can “own” the ORIGINAL fame and money for any given IP no matter what. Trading is possible. No one person or entity can own more than one IP’s creation/ownership fame and original cash reward.

What this sets up is… over time, there will be MANY HUMAN BEINGS with an ownership of ONE IP that they got “The Reward” for. If tomorrow for instance, someone walked into the United States (or your own country) and said, “I have 200,000 NEW IPs that are valid and usable, WORTH ‘The Reward’ (and there is money for all of them)”… we’d need to find 200,000 human beings to attach each IP to! And they can keep their ONE IP forever, until death, unless traded.

I’ll write up more about the idea of BARTERING IPs and what can happen AFTER and BEYOND the original owner gets “The Reward”. STAY TUNED. =)

Actually… I’m NOT prepared yet to write more on this subject. At this time thinking it is a very stable and sustainable method to limit the “owner” of an IP to a certain amount of money and publication/fame. Separately, the development people and investors, licensees and consumers, buyers should have a separate world of deals that are more flexible.

Exiting WB Connection

I probably need to be RELEASED from the WB parking stall. I shouldn’t have met with people there at all. I set forth all kinds of things I couldn’t control at all. I did tell people I wasn’t wealthy, I didn’t have an office there.

It would release me from RPO also. I need to go. I think it is MORE RESPECTFUL of all, that I step out of that parking stall forever and allow the others FROM L.A. and who spent time in L.A. to get the clout and notoriety that was falsely put upon me. I was supposed to be at Amblin, not at WB.

I’ll just be on friendly HONEST TERMS with who is left at WB now.

I’m not German. Nor am I signed with WB for anything.

I am “returning”… not my body, but a misconception I was not sure I was even a part of all this time.

Clever Elf (this one) is Retired from Hollywood’s Workshop

What did I just retire from this year?

Helping create projects and products for people to work on. That’s the best way to explain it. To big people, I probably just looked like a small clever elf who had some ideas they used. They want me done so they can chat with other “elves” and “helpers” now. So I’m exiting the “Hollywood workshop”.

It isn’t clear to me who made me a “clever elf” for Hollywood/Bollywood people. It does appear I stayed an “artist child” who visited and was not employed, didn’t have a career with the entertainment capital of the U.S. (not sure if it is world or not now).

I can’t be an “ideation expert” for others. I wasn’t actually hired for it, just used. I was used as a stand in for others too I guess. I am done now though.

There are probably women too, many of them! I personally am not needed. Others have taken my place in person most of the time anyway. Best wishes to you all!