To Save Others, I Had to Die

A long time ago I was pressured under extreme duress to drop who I was, allow others to “be me” even in person. I didn’t have enough clout by myself. I had to lose who I was permanently or, I or others were at risk of being severely damaged and even mrdrd, dead and buried. As a child I didn’t know I’d have to do such a thing… and more than once.. likely to gang members from different gangs.

People over-hostaged me VERY IMPOLITELY in my youth. Forced me to be used against all kinds of people I didn’t even know. I had to abandon more than one of my own very real identities and groups of contacts. Sorry, not fixable.

What is even more extreme… on occasions I may have ONLY BEEN STANDING IN a SHORT TIME for someone unavailable. Someone planned to return. People still didn’t want me to look that important… as a temp or sub. I got mugged over and over again.

How I also Lost Identity in the 1970s

I forgot to mention this also: How many convicts used wives and children to “be me” for THEM on IPs? Many may still be very much connected to past IPs, IP ideas so their convict husbands are still connected even sitting in prison. And also, there may still be convict women with husbands and boyfriends on the outside connected to IPs on paperwork. There could be THOUSANDS of people who actually capitalized on IPs I helped spark as a child. Because I was NOT MAKING MONEY ON IPs… I was very much made an outsider, outcast, lone wolf.

Titicut Follies

I wasn’t planning to write about this at all. Came across a reference to this in one of my news feeds. Read more about it on Wikipedia

Titicut Follies is a documentary film by Frederick Wiseman

This is a curious thing. A long time ago I was taken to some of these people. Or I thought was taken to them. I was very young, even a child(not a teen). And the name was said TO ME, “Titicut Follies” and “they need help”. I repeated the name later, and I may have been in Hawaii… but my memory was destroyed. I have a feeling people may have been there who were not supposed to be. I repeated the name. I am not sure if others followed up or not. The trouble is, some there may have had no other place to be. I am not a psychiatrist. What is bothering me a little is the date “1967”… what does it mean to different people? I’ve seen the date used in places I was not expecting.

I am not sure if I saw real people or actors when I was taken to the place…? And I am not sure what I was even looking at. I feel like I was taken to One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest also and introduced around.

I did learn something about gangsters and mafia in my life. They really messed each other up, and may have used lawful systems illegally.

I want to note something of MY OWN EXPERIENCE. I have been to “mental health” facilities in L.A. briefly(sometimes only a single day) and I appear to have been drugged or with toxins in my blood causing me irrational thinking. I know people can be absolutely FKD with who are normally, normal.

I also have suffered other things that caused me mental problems in life that did not trigger a cause to “contain” me. Poor diet, possible exposure to heavy metals and arsenic poisoning.

Also, some know about being terrorized and the rod system. Some people who are normally very stable could be driven to absurd levels of crazy!

So in a way I am speaking for inmates I never knew. Some may not belong where they are. Their condition may not be their norm at all if they have mental health problems.

I’ve written about it before, people need to be reviewed. Blood tested. Also, prior head injuries can cause issues also with mental health. The brain can suffer enough damage to cause memory problems and nightmares, even some schizophrenia, confusion, vertigo and more… while in the healing phase! A damaged head should not be moved around much at all, including just riding in a car. People are not educated enough about brain damage… people know some about football players, it is a very real thing to have head trauma.

To sum this all up, some characters in prison or other contained places may need to be reviewed for extrinsic or abnormal triggers causing them to look as if they belong behind bars for a long term. Health should not be ignored. In the animal kingdom, even a playful tiger can turn on its own offspring when starving or a brain trauma.