To Save Others, I Had to Die

A long time ago I was pressured under extreme duress to drop who I was, allow others to “be me” even in person. I didn’t have enough clout by myself. I had to lose who I was permanently or, I or others were at risk of being severely damaged and even mrdrd, dead and buried. As a child I didn’t know I’d have to do such a thing… and more than once.. likely to gang members from different gangs.

People over-hostaged me VERY IMPOLITELY in my youth. Forced me to be used against all kinds of people I didn’t even know. I had to abandon more than one of my own very real identities and groups of contacts. Sorry, not fixable.

What is even more extreme… on occasions I may have ONLY BEEN STANDING IN a SHORT TIME for someone unavailable. Someone planned to return. People still didn’t want me to look that important… as a temp or sub. I got mugged over and over again.

How I also Lost Identity in the 1970s

I forgot to mention this also: How many convicts used wives and children to “be me” for THEM on IPs? Many may still be very much connected to past IPs, IP ideas so their convict husbands are still connected even sitting in prison. And also, there may still be convict women with husbands and boyfriends on the outside connected to IPs on paperwork. There could be THOUSANDS of people who actually capitalized on IPs I helped spark as a child. Because I was NOT MAKING MONEY ON IPs… I was very much made an outsider, outcast, lone wolf.

March of the Purple Minions!

It’s the truth for many others also. Those who were not making money in Hollywood due to the connections they didn’t have. Some people just participated on rare occasions and went away again. Some people were in and out all the time and some grew up in it.

And that’s what happened. I helped open doors and then there was an ongoing stampede of people who made the actual productions “come to life” as in lights, cameras, actors, staff… I was revv’d up like a purple minion… but that’s an unpaid group I was in! I was not earning hourly wages visiting to “create spiritual doorways” that gangsters and mafia laughed and walked through and on the “other side” in THEIR WORLDS… they found contacts and money to do things. I had to stay in my very small world, okay?

I may have been in an actual unpaid mafia group however I can’t verify it.

Retired Like a Hobbit?

The thing about Hobbits(and other creatures)… is that once they’ve done all their adventures and are too “spent”… they have to sit at home with the village and just do small things. The new adventures are for younger people and they have to experience them for themselves! Sitting around hearing old stories is not adventuring and trying out things in the world.

Woohoo! I am back in a village again myself. Have been a while.

A Simple View of Leadership in a Nation

It may be well known in very civilized countries that military leaders, government leaders tend to spend more time with other forms of leaders and are disciplining higher criminals(who are likely leaders).

Average and below average people are normally left to do their work for their family, community and the nation. If they break a law they are taken to a civilian court of law for the correct disciplinary action, the usual goal is to correct something and return the individual to society again.

A Time for Peace, an Ending of Ridicule

What I realize may be going on even in California is that people have less money to work with and have to move closer to other people than they planned on. Some are moving into smaller apartment units, ADU’s instead of full sized homes, tract homes instead of custom homes, RV parks instead of free roaming and camping out. It may be even closer like sharing a house, an apartment, even a bedroom with others. When money is tight, people generally get closer to friends, relatives, even new neighbors. Typically downturn in wealth within a state or nation means people need to live and work closer to each other. It could mean new bonds and new forms of mental crazy too!

If you proceed ahead with a “mind for peace” before you get into a new situation, you may be better prepared to do it.

Turtles don’t mind getting a little closer, even stacking on each other enjoying the day! I wonder if they had to mentally prepare for this? (Image from another writer Sarah here

Downsizing isn’t always a negative thing! You could find new ways to save money and create new relationships with others to help you “get through this time”. Sadly, it appears EVERYONE is going through it in some way in the United States.

A contraction of wealth doesn’t have to mean a contraction in spirit! In fact, some people get more religious and pray more knowing how on the edge their financial picture may be.

Here’s what’s cool. We are supposed to be all humans. We share similar problems. You are NOT ALONE.

Don’t fear downsizing and living a simpler, less expensive life! It’s isn’t shameful in an economic downturn at all. No ridicule, no judgements. We appear all in this problem together. Surviving it.

On Boat, Should I Swim Instead?

Here is my problem. I’ll give you a fictional short story idea. Not a complete one. Happens in movies, not new or original.

On Boat, Should I Swim Instead?

I’m standing on a boat. It floats. It has kept me warm enough, clothed, even entertained at times and mostly protected. Maybe it is a BIG SHIP.

Another ship is in the distance. They signal I should SABOTAGE the ship I am on. Keep asking for it. Should I sabotage the ship I know, that I am on? No promise I’ll get picked up by the ship in the distance if the ship I’m on sinks?

The boat or ship reference in this story is A COUNTRY.

Contact and a Friend

Comes to my attention that there are MANY PEOPLE who really didn’t get me well most of my life. Here is what happened. Mafia/gangsters needed to do some messaging. It was NOT UNDERSTOOD CORRECTLY.

If someone gets a baby(someone in need) instead of a mature, connected gang(or mafia) member… it means their contact is DEAD.

1) accept the contact is dead and get a new one(s)
2) develop the baby into a contact for the future

You can do both of course. Be wise about it.

Are We All Lost Children?

I was looking up at the sky at night and smiled at the “twinkling stars”.

What if those are fragments of former space ships and bases and they twinkle as the sunlight hits them? What if we are a lost civilization here on Earth? What if our ancient ancestors crash landed here after a something above the Earth happened…

Makes me wonder.

Like you, I have watched a lot of science fiction that carried many theories.

“What if…” is something scientists are known to say. And people “of faiths” and “of religions” denounce over and over again.

Let me bring something up. Pretend I just turned to you in a motorized chair, from giving you my back to speaking to you with my front. I just turned from looking at something else, and I am now turned to speak to you.

Science is the devotion to “figuring things out”.

Religion is the devotion to “remembering and repeating unchangeable ideas”.

Many religions speak of “being lost” and then “being found”.

I’ll stop here. Let you think about it and decide what you want to think about.

Broken Nails

Is being said on the ‘wind’. It means connections are broken, people are UNCONNECTED.

I have a feeling because I was a “baby” various gang contacts dumped and dropped me as “useful” to them very early in my life. Too many people needed money! THEN people planned to help me have money… AND THEN… OVERSOLD me and anything I owned. Here I am decades into my life and I’m being snooped as a money source and I cannot afford my own life easily!

Ultimately, I am a victim of identity theft. It means I can’t do much no matter what… and the people using my identity may also be limited… UNLESS… they only used my name(s) as nicknames, not trying to use my identity paperwork to stay in the U.S.

“Forced to be a baby.” – the ‘wind’

“Elvis Has Left the Building”

It’s an old phrase. Been around for decades. Applies to a small story about me also.

From my Twitter/X:

There is another message I got. While in the cradle as a “child” people brought money and all kinds of gifts… went to others. Then I got scared, jumped out of the crib… people had planned to mrdr me, so I offered to be the drummer boy. They gave me drums and a false smile, injured me. I said, okay… I’ll stay further away. Only thing, it wasn’t a message… it happened. To this day I am not certain what I ran from, or gave up. It may have just been death itself.

I didn’t plan to write about myself, however there are contacts who didn’t know things so much they did the wrongs things with me even recently.