Scary Idea…Simple Me as a “Criminal Me”

I HAVE TO RETIREMENT AGE and QUIT IN HASTE any commitment or support of Hollywood, Bollywood… even Dollywood… whatever. I HAVE BEEN TRULY MISTAKEN AS SOMEONE ELSE “risen from death” or something!

Great series, great characters… illustates the “Doctor Jekyl, Mr. Hyde” effect in a single human being. What if these were two different people: a Simple Me (the doctor) and Criminal Me (Hulk)? The doctor knew Hulk could do amazing things, but he couldn’t control like people hoped or wished he could. And others, love Hulk just being his unchained self even if he got injured, damaged, thrown in jail. Both of these characters exist in societies. Not always as obvious as Hollywood can paint them! (Incredible Hulk and promotional photography is copyright MARVEL ENTERTAINMENT, I admit to borrowing this from the internet without written permission and am wiling to remove it if asked.)

MORE THAN ONE MAN, who could have been deemed terroristic with a gun even talented at filmmaking… were involved with gangs and mafia, and getting movies created… USED MY NAME in the 1970s. I AM NOT HIM. I may have looked like HIS DAUGHTER at some point in time. But I was a stand in if you thought that. One used me like A SON… which later became Korean boys and women in Hollywood. I am NOT ONE OF THEM… or you’d all know ME PERSONALLY BETTER and I wouldn’t have to write this over 100mi+ away from Hollywood. Some of the men and women using my name may still be in Honolulu, L.A. even scattered all over the U.S. and internationally. I’m the young one some had to swear to protect and may be how my name got all over Hollywood… but new people over the years may not have known the origin. My “Hollywood dads” and “moms” and “brothers and sisters” used my name and others’ names in L.A. Like “criminal me’s”.

People need the “criminal me’s” in and out of Hollywood FOR MONIES… not someone like me. I was known as a big mouth child, but also a “quiet, creative Steven”… I cannot rise to the occasion of “criminal me” and go brute force movies and money for Hollywood. Nor can I traffic people.

More on “Criminal Me’s”

Another thing about “Criminal Me’s”. Some are obviously not as criminal as others. In my case I got a variety too. But what may need a REVIEW is how many criminals me’s are working against a certain “simple me”. Too many people ganging up on the same person, and not coordinated… equates to more damage and more people thrown in jail.

Some criminal me’s are intelligent and get really great things done! Others are more thuggish and just hate people, don’t love anything.

Corporate “Criminal Me’s”… I want to note, some corporation people come across very criminal… even if they play by the rules and laws of a country. Politicians too. They have to be educated about what’s going on and make tough decisions that could hurt thousands people, maybe millions financially. Some of it requires “management IQ”. I respect those. They DO KNOW ABOUT “simple me” people though, and know NOT to SPEND MONEY damaging them. “Simple me” people are typically not a threat.

I am a “Simple Me” who has been allowed to register motion picture studio names. It’s probably because the high up corporate people know I’m NOT A THREAT TO THEM. They know I wouldn’t do dangerous things. They’ve probably been watching too to see what I’d do. Not all know me well at all. Some have for decades though, but I’m not sure how well. Some may be sad that there are so many criminal me’s that I can’t even just visit major corporations, people from them, or be a “late bloomer” and do more in society than just write online… which is about all I have right now.

I’m capable of being a “corporation criminal me” but not to the level managers at big companies are. They have tougher jobs with a lot of back up, people behind them. I don’t have much at all.

This is funny, just came across this so adding on here…

Hahaha!!! Now.. not all criminal me’s look like batman… and… geezus, I’m NOT that kind of simple me! But I BET there are some “dynamic duos” out there that would surprise people. But the point here is… this catwoman really couldn’t do much to that Batman, and that Batman could do some serious damage to this cat woman… and it wouldn’t make any sense! However, some cat women like this may be hidden criminal me’s who have big criminal me’s elsewhere that could injure Batman… but is it necessary? Would it be necessary to damage Batman because he was .. taller? Male? Or drove a cool car? Or one of the cat’s liked him better? Some simple me catwomen could just give Batman some lunch money on an off day (like his fortune was unavailable).. you know? Lesson here is… maybe should be nicer to each other whoever we are, whichever suit we are wearing? Bat or Cat?

On Stealing from a “Cat Person”

Side note about my survival money in life. One of my father’s demonstrated to a criminal in my childhood… depositing $100 in a bank savings account. That was around the late 1970s. Within the last ten years or so, may have been 2014-2016 or so I was able to get a check from the State of Hawaii for around $200… the savings account had been closed and funds “went to the state”… which happens with a dormant account. The point is… all these decades… NOT ONE PERSON could claim and use the account. So if there are any criminals watching me, stalking me… waiting for a time to knock me down once and for all and bury me… they STILL WON’T GET my survival monies.

I Can’t Handle Gang Monies

Not something I was planning on putting on my blog site, but I want gang/mafia business people to know I cannot take pay offs from them and then pay others. I am simply not protected enough. ALSO, I was supposed to WORK. I was the one who was supposed to work for money. Not take pay offs and sit around. There has been a conflict of interest and this has caused me and all kinds of people confusion. I’ve had amnesia from hits, what’s your excuses–people who may be laughing?

I was told at a very young age I could not be a rp dog, may have been by other rp dogs. They even called me a “cripple” back then. In gang language it meant I needed to work… but in normal people language it panicked me that they were going to actually cripple me! I may have said, “I’m no cripple!” It MEANT to me.. and others.. I wanted to work like average people! In the U.S. a cripple looks like someone who has to sit at home. But a gang cripple is someone who can’t transact with gang money… right? I am asking because I am not an actual gang member, apparently just loosely, faintly adopted by more than one gang.

In the 1970s… my legal legitimate contacts were given money and it was STOLEN. When I was a child, maybe even again as a young adult… was TOLD to go to a specific person for money and when I asked, I got badly injured. More than once all I was doing was picking up a check to deliver to someone else. Wasn’t even money for me!

I beg of people… PLEASE STOP USING ME NOW. Phase out my name(s) in Hollywood, stop pretending I am GATE KEEPER… or KEY MASTER… or someone who has money sitting around somewhere… I have NO BACKROOM people moving money around. I got robbed blind and blindly a long time ago. I’m physically disabled and old now. I don’t even have a part time job at Walmart with cash available to just give children, a temple or church, non-profits or something, you know?

Dust to Dust, Back to Earth

I like nature walks like these in the real world. Not every one can or should follow me though. We all need OUR OWN TIMELINES and paths in life. You can follow me for instance online, but you can do it when you feel like, even in the YEAR you feel like.

I may be returning to Mother Earth themes in the future of my online publishing. Just focusing on health, body, the lands we live on, cultivation, herbalism, organics, gardening(?) even thinking spiritually about people and living. I’ve dealt with the past a lot in recent years and I don’t want to keep going on it. I feel stalkers and snoopers needed to be MORE AWARE why I’m not their actual target. I’m not well monied nor well connected. I had to be disconnected a long time ago. I was replaced by at least 30 people! I discovered… there IS NO SPOT FOR ME to take, slip into, or waiting for me anywhere in Hollywood even outside of it for the town. So I’m staying retired from it.

Here on my blog site, I may continue to post broader ideas and themes. I humbly apologize if there were people expecting me to be a full Hollywood Spielberg. I’m not the same blood, nor same kind of people. I’m more a bohemian, mellow, easy going type of person. Not fancy, just kinda average.

What is the “dust to dust” reference? It means I spent much of my time in my earliest years outside under the sun and skies even barefoot by choice. I like the idea of remembering the Earth and being a part of IT. I don’t have be “one with the human race” or “one with the entertainment’s hive mind thinking and experience”. Being a part of the entertainment industry, even as a friend and not-employed… means a certain ongoing awareness and thoughtfulness. I NO LONGER NEED TO “hold fast” to it. I am returning to “dusty things”. I’m dead to entertainment, but no so much to our Mother Earth. I still have things to do for it. TBD!

No more major corporation contacts!

Hey people, I was too young to be a real corporation executive in the 1970s. I had connections back then to future high paying jobs, but I got HOSTAGED… even taken around the world for a time. Mainly in Hollywood, people were injuring me and asking for money. I BEGGED to be disconnected. I didn’t want to spend my early years in life being attacked. It looked bleak, like criminals just planned to injure me, get money and kill me. Family members were injured too. So WE HAD TO BE DISCONNECTED. There was NO WAY OUT. The companies I had connections to were young and some in start up, meaning no dividends or pay checks anyway. So no hostage money for criminals. I just got cut off completely–no more future job. There were years, decades I lived in low poverty as a result. The criminals involved just kept demanding money and were even stealing survival monies. Some in L.A. PRETENDED they stole my wealth and clout. My health was poor, I was interfered with on so many levels for years and years… but I guess the memo didn’t go out and around? Not connected. Not making any money from anything for years. I was on a stipend to be kept alive. I don’t think I even made a phone call to any company owners to wish happy birthday or anything my whole life. So this idea of threatening to harm me for hostage monies is pathetic. Has been for decades now. Criminals just get frustrated and punished.

What this looks like I was an ACE of cards in the 1970s that people used… got turned into an average “3”, not even a clever deuce(“2”). Looking at things now, it appears criminals have been in denial all these years. May be why I wasn’t allowed to just go have a normal average working middle class life. They may STILL be pretending I have value somehow.

I’m even a disabled person. But they’ve paid doctors off to not allow a disability letter.

Beggars Around Me

Sadly, someone’s “prison specials” have been sent to me over and over in my life and I DON’T APPRECIATE IT. They threaten, rob, injure people and pretend someone else did it. Then… they carry the money(a few hundred dollars? Few thousand?) to someone likely in L.A. who doesn’t belong in this country. There may be some in my neighborhood right now… stalking.. snooping… possibly living in homes without paying rent… which means the actual owners may have been chased away. Someone should interview “their children” see if they are stolen or not. What’s really odd is they try to fit in, and look wealthy too. Think it perfectly normal to harass strangers for anything. BEWARE asking them too many questions… if you find they are lying right in front of you and they know you know it… they could kll or injure you. The ones near me ARE NOT TAKING MESSAGING*. Which worries me.

Not just my neighborhood. Please look around your own where YOU live.

Be careful, okay?

*Such as… people who are NOT driving luxury vehicles–look like work or commuter vehicles, likely do not have a lot of money. If they are not driving a status car… what are they driving? Is it practical? New? If it looks old, bought used… they may be trying to tell people they don’t have money to share. If they have a new car and have family members who have old cars… they probably need to take care of THEM FIRST…not strangers. A family that has even ONE used-bought car in it should NOT be bothered for giving money to strangers and/or people outside of the family. Truth is, if not all the family members can afford to buy a new car without a loan and also own a home without a mortgage they should not be sharing money outside of their family.

The TRUTH IS… people who have ANY DEBT on their own, or in their family… should not be asked to give money away.

I’ve gotten beggars since I was in diapers. WHY IS THIS? Even if I had contacts with money, doesn’t mean I have money! Please take your beggars back and send them elsewhere! I can’t help people. I am NOT Ukrainian, Korean, Taiwanese, Indian! None of those. I feel they should not be in the U.S. if they can’t get a job to support themselves. Ongoing begging is NOT GOOD, NOT SUSTAINABLE. They are NOT MY PEOPLE! I feel bad having to write this. There have been times in my life I didn’t have enough money for food. Ukrainians pretended to be poor at the grocery store and STILL bought 2x-10x as much food as me.

Social Media Account Adjustments

I DID REALLY.. take down my own social media accounts on Facebook and Linkedin for now. I am rebranding what I am going to do with them. I spent a few years now writing about problems I’ve had with real and imagined connections in L.A. and Honolulu. I hope we mutually understand now I was mainly a “sounding board” and “concubine-like person” for several men and women. I was NOT an actual leadership person. I may have been used and brought around as a stand in… and I really didn’t understand what was going on. I turned the big 5-0 last summer even though I am still a “child” to the mafia and gangsters I’ve known. I’m accepting I’ll NEVER be returning to work with Hollywood, and I pray and plead and beg for EVERYONE to get this along with me. I kinda did my thing, and that’s all they needed. They have many many many talented people who live right there in L.A. and can handle many many things. My best wishes to them!

Not a Ukrainian

Hello all, I know Ukrainians have come to the U.S. over the decades and needed help. I may have even been asked to “stand in” for one or more of them. But it wasn’t a good idea to continue to do this with me and my body. I GOT UKRAINIAN hits put upon me. It looked like I was causing people grief from “my marching orders”. NOT FAIR AT ALL. I was not even spoken to much about their lives. In my childhood I may have been VERY CONFUSED why people claiming to be Ukrainian WERE HARMING ME. Some say they were trying to extort money by threatening even to kll me. PLEASE DON’T EVER DO THIS AGAIN. I am not actually one of your peoples. All the damage to my body and life has NOT BE FAIRLY, JUSTLY… given to me.

As a child I wanted to help people. No one was REQUIRED to listen to me(unless their own people did this–I didn’t). I’ve never been under contract as a spokesperson or even “hired leadership”–which is actually more an INDIA thing… a group of people HIRE a leader. In the U.S. we VOTE for them, or that’s how it is supposed to go. But that HIRED LEADERSHIP is supposed to be protected! Not left out for anyone to visit and injure just because they had a bad day or were on drugs and ended up at the wrong address begging for money.

Please, in this world of “gender associations”.. can people accept “group associations”? I actually associate MORE with Hawaii people and Yugoslavians who are not wealthy. I have a decent mind, but I and my family were not protected enough over the decades so we couldn’t get wealthy. Without enough wealth, we really cannot help others with money. We can only be nice and try to help others spiritually.

I believe in the 1970s some Hawaii(?) and California(?) people.. possibly even from out of country hired Ukrainians and Koreans to “copy me”. However, I was NEVER given money to pay people. Mafia and gangs stole monies from my family before we made any significant money even in normal, legal ways.

I shouldn’t be so isolated and without contacts, but it may be because many moved on because I was so attacked and robbed throughout my life. Not possible to protect me enough. I wanted to have a normal-ish life, out in public with other people. So I can’t have a lot of money to my name. I can’t even have auto-payments for fear someone may kll me for them.

Long ago, some people may have been snooped and PRETENDED my whole family was Ukrainian. I think more than one relative was an adopted Ukrainian. It looks like was also given some Ukrainian grandparents, but they were poor people. It didn’t make me Ukrainian. All these years it wasn’t on my mind at all who I was connected to. But these days I realize HOW IMPORTANT it is to recognize what may have been misunderstood.

It appears my main “job” for a larger group of people ended up being to help them understand U.S. citizens and English speakers. I didn’t have to be a part of Hollywood to do this, but it may have carried my ideas further than if I just wrote things online. “False relatives” in Los Angeles and Honolulu may have called me Ukrainian, Indian even Korean and other things. The trouble was though… they often appeared CRIMINAL and want to steal money from me, not help me with a job or career! Please be aware they may still exist.

Was I a Mafia Mother?

(from my Linkedin Post “Compensation For?”)

Gunna just have to accept–to myself–I was a “Hollywood regular stand in” for others… and never adopted(paid) to do it there. Others just made sure I had survival money to get me through it all because of the hits I may have taken FOR OTHERS. I ended up being a hit magnet?!! But remember this too for me/us… I paid with my very messed up lifetime already. If anything, PEOPLE OWE ME MORE MONEY. Not the other way around. I’ve had to live a RUINED LIFE. I’m not suing nor invoicing, and “adults” should NOT be sending their small or full grown “children” for money or gifts.

It appears I was a MOTHER for mafia and gangster children. Responsibility got put on me for things THEY DID or SET UP or signed agreements on.

People can and will go on without me. And I need to be retired from helping strangers. Most people I ever dealt with in L.A. even Honolulu appeared to be strangers to me. I didn’t really know them.

I actually believe I’m part of a group of “poor Yugoslavians” that people were supposed to protect and take care of–even minimally, not rob and abuse!

What’s profound is that responsibilities appeared to be put upon me before I was even out of diapers. I’ve had this weight on me my whole life… to help people I didn’t even really know. The distant relative to false surrogates? I’m not sure who set this all up or how it got put together. I know human traffickers were involved. I believe they were Ukrainian-involved, which also connected me to India and Korean peoples and more.

Getting Rid of “Stupid” (From Our Lives)

Some humans have been given this label, PLEASE don’t push humans out the door unless they are actually dangerous to you and yours.

The real “stupid” we probably ALL NEED TO WORK ON… are the things in our lives that we keep getting involved with over and over and they are NOT HELPFUL, but HARMFUL… to our minds and/or our wallets and self worth.

“Stupid is, what stupid does!” –Yeah that too!

What I’m writing is to myself and others… I am trying to help us get stupid out of our lives. Yes, “stupid” is like a GLUE or a stinky tar we’ve used to get odd things to work together. But at some point you need to use something else, or re-work the “wiring” or “flow” or “how this thing is done”. Yup, sometimes we use “stupid” to make new things kinda.. roll… or jump… or bounce.. or just do something… but what I am suggesting to even myself is: “What can I use to replace ‘stupid’ in my life?” This is really tricky and not simple for me. Others may have less stupid-looking lives to deal with!

Here are some examples of “stupid” in someone’s life:

– Jogging daily even though you’ve had knee surgeries.
– Going to the same restaurant with the same people and running up a tab that breaks your bank account every time–they have fun, love you for it, but you spend months recovering the debt to your credit card.
– Working at a job that will never pay you enough to afford in the home you are in.
– Asking for help from someone disabled(physically or financially or?), and they keep putting you off and you can’t get your work done without them.
– Wearing clothes that don’t fit right and you get irritable because you hate the colors or fit.
– Eating your spouse’s cooking and it tastes bad all the time, and you are actually good at cooking!
– Spending money on relatives who never speak to you or help you with anything.
– Taking a certain route to work every day that includes too many traffic lights, but appears faster sometimes.
– You ask the opinion of NON-EXPERTS on a subject.
– You complain about the same thing for years instead of seeking even a small change.
– You just complain and never suggest a repair or fix or constructive change.
– You ask others for changes in your life, but you don’t or won’t change yourself at all.
– You seek only “compromise” from others, but won’t do a compromise when asked of you.

Make your own list! I dare you!

This is actually a very universal, global “thing” that EVERYONE may need to think about: REMOVING AS MUCH STUPID FROM THEIR LIVES AS POSSIBLE. We all end up getting into a groove, habits, even forcing things in relationships and more. I’m thinking now… WE ALL NEED TO PUT MORE EFFORT into removing “stupid” from our lives. And I don’t mean getting rid of human beings I mean “DEPROGRAMMING”, “ADJUSTING EXPECTATIONS”… “HELPING EACH OTHER FIGURE THINGS OUT”.

The Old Man and the Birds

(working title)
I’m writing this story live. If I don’t snoopers may try to sell it before I publish it. Stand by… (copied from Linkedin after I finished as is for now)

After working hard for years, an old man is retired and alone. He knows he is near his end, or he thinks so. Gives away his expensive things to friends and family and has his little money to live on and enjoy his final days in peace.

He has just enough to get by, but things are getting more expensive. He doesn’t want to burden people he cared about in life. Just wants to fade away.

After losing his small apartment home and walking out, leaving everything there he takes to the streets. He has a terminal illness and knows his life is closing down.

One day he notices the young birds visiting him. Older ones watching them and him. Laying on his cardboard he gets up and goes to a store and with his last cash buys bird seed. He sits at the park and gives and gives… it last for days and he makes lots of friends with the birds and he lives in that nice park for a while with them.

The day comes and he is out. He sits and watches some birds come to visit, give him looks, peck around and leave again. Some come and fight each other at his feet and next to him on the bench.

Sadly he gets up, and slowly walks away. Birds chase after him.. scurrying at his feet… landing on his shoulders… on his head… flying by… some talking… some yelling… he just keeps walking slowly… no where to really go. His breathing isn’t well…

…his head is getting foggy.. he is not sure if he is walking or not. He feels very tired… and slowly loses consciousness. The birds land on his body, now just fallen on the path. He hears them, it sounds like music and confusion… they peck at his hair, his face, his jacket, his shoes, and stand and fight on him. Doesn’t matter their color, or size, or origin. Just birds.

Are you a bird? Do beautiful feathers stop you from pecking at people? Are you all in gray? Do you feel, special?

Joggers… come up quick and birds fly off… some fly and fly and fly… others hop out of the way still watching and looking for bird seed, which.. some may have dropped.

What does this story mean to you? What human would you be in this story if you wrote yourself in? Are you proud of the birds? Would you want to be one?

What are the joggers thinking of as they see this dead old man on a path? Take his wallet? Chase the birds away? Run off and pretend they didn’t see him?

There are many meanings in this story. Some people feel old and out of bird seed, even not near their own natural death. They feel like they already gave up a lot already.

If the old man got up, and walked back to an expensive apartment with all kinds of marble and gold. Had he still spent “all his seeds” for “the birds”? What if he had only bought ONE BAG in life and spent it all. Are the birds still “owed”? Is he responsible if the birds called more to his neighborhood?

more later

The Fast and Furious FK UP

THIS IS A RANT FOR PUBLIC VIEWING. I know not all had dumb and sinister intentions, but some truly have! Their names may not even be on credits anywhere. Some may even be dead from a street fight at some point by now.

After I helped create the Fast and Furious movie franchise… in my childhood… WITH ADULTS… how many MEN, gangsters especially… suddenly rose up and WANTED TO “BE ME”? No kidding. HOW MANY? They REALLY FKD UP MY LIFE. OTHERS TOO. Because some ARE NOT LEGAL IN THE U.S., NEVER WERE. They got involved and messed up all kinds of normal people who USED TO work for Hollywood, and I don’t think this was appropriate. Some, maybe many… are not even creative or business people, had guns, not money. This is NOT what the movie series was about. It wasn’t about destroying lives. It was supposed to enforce family and friendship values. And hell yes, have good times. Criminal and not.

Offscreen… Even g’damn criminal politicians got involved or showed up at that series. So WTF happened???????